Give

"We are the Lord's hands upon the earth, with the mandate to LIFT & SERVE His children."
- Thomas S. Monson

Having been born with Spinal Muscular Atrophy and having to use a wheelchair 90% of the time, I have needed my own fair share of help.  Luckily for me, I have been #blessed beyond imagine with loving friends and a family who've helped me every single day of my life.  

But there comes a time when you get sick of having to ask for help.  You get sick of feeling like a burden.  And you get sick of being a charity case.  

If you don't really know me but you know of me, you are probably thinking, "Oh car, you're not a burden."  But you also probably haven't had to help me put my pants on, or put my leg into the car, or push my wheelchair up a steep hill.  

I can't begin to explain the frustration I feel when I cannot do something on my own.  I hate having to ask for help, which you would think by now I would be used to it.  I look around at "normal" people and the things they can do without even giving it a second thought, like getting into the car.  And then I'm all over here like... 

Okay turn around... lift your right leg in... okay now shimmy your cute little bum into the car... okay now grab left leg and lift it into the car.... now hold the steering wheel so you don't fall out of the car when you grab the door to close it. 

I know.. it's a friggin' task... although I am grateful I can drive... so I really shouldn't complain about having to take an extra ten seconds to get into the car.   

Anyways, life isn't easy.  It's hard.  It's a freaking pain in the butt, the back, the legs, the arms... EVERYWHERE, really.   

And I know that I have it easy.   

A few days ago a good friend of mine asked me if I had seen the new "Mormon Message".  I hadn't seen it yet, and he told me that it reminded him of me.  He said it was called "LIFT" and it was about a woman who developed Multiple Sclerosis and after 16 years of marriage her husband left her, leaving her to deal with her disease on her own.  The Elders Quorum would go over every night and put her into bed because she couldn't do it herself.

My friend is literally one of the sweetest guys I know.  After telling me about the Mormon Message he said that he would be willing to put me into bed every night if I needed him to.  I just laughed and said, "Well luckily I can put myself into my own bed."

As I was getting ready for bed I was looking for peace and comfort so I went onto LDS.org and listened to a few General Conference talks.  After watching two, I remembered the video Riley had mentioned a few days ago and went to watch it.

Within 5 seconds of watching "LIFT" I was in tears.

Even if you aren't LDS, if you are a Humanist, watch this video.

Okay, now that you've watched this you are probs also in tears... and if you aren't then your tear ducts are probs just broken.  

It's obvious why this hit home for me and if you've ever needed help it probably hit home for you too.

On a day to day basis, I have to ask for help at least 10 times for various reasons.  Most of the time I get help from someone I know but sometimes it's from strangers.  

Imma tell you a quick story that happened to me a few months ago.

I was walking into a store and I went to step up the curb and I lost my footing and fell.  I sat on the curb for a second trying to make a game plan on how I was going to get up.  I tried using my car to pull myself up but with the rod in my spine, it wasn't happening.  I knew that I was just going to have to ask someone walking by to help me up, but there was absolutely no one around.  So I sat there for a few minutes.  I was so frustrated and angry.  Why the heck couldn't I get up.  It's a simple task and I couldn't do it.  

Finally a man who was parked next to me walked out to his car.   The second I opened my mouth to ask for help, I burst into tears.  I said I was sorry for bothering him but if he could help me up that would be amazing.  

He just looked down at me with judging eyes and very begrudgingly helped me up.  I explained to him that I had a disability and that I had a rod in my spine and that's why I couldn't get up on my own.  He just rolled his eyes and said, "yeah I broke both of my legs once and I could do it."

I was already crying but I got into my car and starting sobbing.  It took me ten minutes to finally calm down to see enough to drive home.  

It broke my heart that someone would act in such a way.  And the sad thing is, I know that he's not the only one out there who would have felt put out by the little act of service.  

But I know for a fact that there are more people out there who are loving, kind, compassionate, understanding and Christ-like than there are people who aren't.  

Being LDS I have been taught since primary, "that when ye are in the service of your fellow beings ye are only in the service of your God." (Mosiah 2:17)

Of course I cannot serve by doing physical things, but I try my hardest to serve in other ways.  And sometimes that is just a smile, or a hug, or telling someone I love them.  

There will never be a day that I feel like I have repaid everyone for the service they have done for me.  My roommates over the years who have helped in out of the bath tub, literally put my pants on,  picked me up off the floor when I've fallen.  

Or my best friends who have done more for me than I even deserve.  

Shaila, for piggy backing me up a mountain to see a waterfall. 

Or Michelle for being one of the only people who has ever made me feel like I wasn't any different than everyone else.  

Sillytamp for always encouraging me to NEVER EVER give up.  

Obviously my mom, who has done EVERYTHING for me.

I wish I could thank everyone on here because there are 101 people who have made my life better by being in it.  

I know I am not the easiest to help.  

Sometimes I am ungrateful.  

Sometimes I am a brat (if you ask my mom, she'll say I am always a brat).  

and Sometimes I forget how extremely fortunate I am.  

But I am beyond grateful for every single person who has ever, carried me up stairs, helped me get something down off of a shelf, helped me stand up, sit down, helped me into the car, has pushed my wheelchair, has gotten something for me, or has done all of the above plus more.  

I challenge you to see service as an opportunity to love your fellow man.  Don't let it be a burden.  

Take it from me, it's hard to ask for help.  

At times it's humiliating.

But it's necessary.

Be kind.

Be loving.

Be a blessing in someones life.

"Our prime purpose in this life is to help others.  And, if you cannot help them, at least do not hurt them."

-Dalai Lama

xoxo

C